Charlie's sweater

*thank you so very much for your kind comments on the previous post.  it means a great deal to me that you shared your well wishes.  When I wrote about being hugely grateful for small things...your reaching out means more than you know. x.*

 I fell in love with the blog Found While Walking this fall, and was really happy when in December I won a giveaway Jaime had.  She sent over the most incredible package (I'll show you soon) and it was such a bright spot for me this winter.  I told her so, and she responded with a flattering request: a commission for a sweater for her very cool little girl, Charlie.

This is the result, and it was a labor of love.  I loved the challenge of designing something I thought Charlie would love, and picking up those cheery stripes of peach, coral, gold and rust during a sad time gave me a dose of energy and sweetness.  The only hard part was waiting to see if Charlie liked it...  But I think she did.  Isn't she a cutie!! :)



Here are a few more thoughts on my design and construction process, if you are interested...

The design, color palette and construction were all chosen with Charlie in mind.  Being an avid collector, Charlie needed a sweater with lots of pockets, obvs.  I had an image I played in my mind of her running on a beach, collecting rocks and shells, and stuffing them in pouch pockets.  I was also inspired by Elly's version of this.  I knew I wanted a garment for her that was soft, easy, cozy, comfy, special, and beautifully made.  I also wanted something to compliment her coloring, be pretty, but also versatile enough to last, and even be handed down to her little brother one day.

I saw this colorway from noro on sale, but truthfully, it included a really garish pea green and a brilliant turquoise that clashed with the other colors.  It was the only color of noro left at the yarn store, and it was actually pretty ugly.  But I thought if I simply cut out those colors, it would be really beautiful. I striped it with a neutral colored wool that made the colors glow.  I did make use of a bit of those strong greens, check out the pocket linings, its a happy secret, like a jewelry box.

I knit the body and sleeves flat to the underarms, then joined and knit the yoke in the round.  Strange, I know, but I wanted the stripes to line up perfectly at the sides, and seaming gave me total control of that.  The jog in the yoke stripes was hidden at the raglan decreases.  I kept the raglan line really simple to keep the focus on the colors.  The neck was designed to be just a little scoopy, so it wouldn't itch her neck, but still offer enough coverage to be warm.  The pockets were knit as one giant pouch pocket, and then seamed into three compartments.

Thank you thank you Jaime and Charlie, for giving me the little push I needed to make again. x.

on heartbreak

Hello! To the few good people who have read my blog in the past, I hope this post finds you and finds you well. Its been a long, long time since I last posted, and I'd like to explain. I've been trying for too long to find a way to write this, and I see now the only way is to be plain. In mid August my partner of almost 7 years ended our relationship. He is a beautiful and wonderful person, and out of respect for both him and me, I'm not going to share too many details. What I do feel ok sharing is that it was not my choice, and I have spent a long winter heartbroken, in a lot of pain, and trying my best to heal. If you are a dear reader of mine, it most likely means we have been commenting on each others' blogs for a while now. I have often wanted to blog this winter, and check in, but have not been sure how. I have been so raw...writing coherently seemed beyond my reach. If I could gather you all up, from New Zealand, Wales, Sweden, across the US and wherever else you live* and bring you to Portland for a pot of tea and a nice long chat, I surely would, and tell you the whole story. Since what we have is the internet, however, the very very public internet, I don't feel ok sharing much more about it. I hope you understand.

This process, though painful, has been a very rich and humbling experience. I am learning about this small wild animal called grief, and how to live with her, even embrace her, because she is stubborn and will only move on when she is ready. When your heart is broken open, (I hate this saying, it sounds so casual and clean, like 'darn, i broke a mug on the kitchen floor'... a shredded or mutilated heart sounds more accurate!) it is broken open wide, wide, wide...you feel so much pain but you feel alive too. Little things take your breath away, you are too raw to stifle tears, even in public places sometimes...and you become aware of tiny things you are hugely grateful for.

So. I am grateful for you. I am grateful for this blog. And a story: I am grateful for one of my favorite designers, who generously sent me a pattern for one of her hats that I loved... a month after A. broke with me. She didn't know what a kind gesture it really was! I had not felt capable, nor ready to make much of anything, save for a small thing I will show you soon...but I went to the yarn store and it felt so nice to be there... I cast on and slowly settled in to the stitches, and remembered how healing knitting can be. Then I added the blue pompom because the blue was scrap yarn, and scrap yarn is beautiful, because it looked a little funny and I needed the humor, because pompoms only exist to make you smile, and I needed more of that too.

Since making this hat, I have made other things, some very special, and I am happy to share them with you soon. It feels nice to be back. xoxoxo.

* haha- it sounds like I am deluded enough to think I have many readers all over the world! I know I have just a few, but you are the best, and do seem to live all over!